Who Ben is Now
by EmeraldGreen4Life
Summary: She had hidden so long from the outside world. No one could know about her force sensitivity. But Ben Solo had known, and Kylo Ren had not forgotten. A princess is taken captive. A darkened soul struggles with the light inside the girl he once loved. Allevra's world has fallen apart, and it is all just to find out who Ben Solo is now. Rating is subject to change.
1. Chapter 1

They had caught me. After years and years of hiding from the First Order and keeping my sensitivity to the force a secret, they had finally caught me.

And I wasn't going down without a fight.

For almost two years I had hidden in the forests of Yavin, desperate to live in isolation so as not to capture attention from the Order **or** the Resistance. The fight going on between them was so bloody, so deadly that I was desperate not to be a part of it. The force was not very strong in me, but it was indeed present. I did not want to be torn apart by the pull of the light and dark; the constant internal conflict that so often tortured the Sith and Jedi.

And the worst part? I thought that I was going to get away with it. I thought that I was going to be able to hide my abilities during a time in which the few souls left with the force were being sought out by both sides of the fight. It seemed like there was no one in the galaxy that had any idea about the force's presence within me.

But of course, I had forgotten about _**him.**_

 _ **Ben Solo.**_ The boy that I had spent so much of my early childhood with. The only person that I had ever trusted enough to discuss my affinity of the force with. He had known.

And he had not forgotten.

It must have been very early in the morning when they had arrived, for sunlight had not yet reached through the cracks of the hut that I usually slept in. I had woken up, however, to the sound of a large vessel landing in a clearing several hundred feet away.

Living in hiding for so long had made me easily frightened. In all reality, I had no idea whom it could be that had landed just outside the area I called home. Regardless, a surprise visit by anyone was not welcome, so I quickly sprang from my small cot. Panicked, I grabbed the one weapon I possessed, a slightly dull knife, and exited the hut.

Through the densely scattered trees, I spotted a large ship. Although I could barely see the details of the vehicle, it did not look friendly. I could hear my heartbeat _thump_ in my ears as a strange, loud hissing sound erupted through the woods. Within seconds, a door had opened from the front of the ship. A long, angled piece of metal stretched out to connect the ship's entrance to the ground. What happened next sent shivers down my spine.

I watched, paralyzed with fear, as a brigade of Stormtroopers came marching out. There were quite a few, perhaps forty, and they were all heavily armed. But that was the least of my worries.

After the Stormtroopers had exited the ship, a dark, cloaked figure appeared from behind them. He was dressed completely in black and his face was shrouded by a metallic helmet. For a moment, I thought that I was looking at Darth Vader. However, I quickly reminded myself that said man was long gone.

It was only then, as the terrifying being turned to gaze out at the lush forest, that I thought to run.

I darted in the opposite direction, desperate to escape. The trees seemed to _whiz_ past me as I fled, pushing my legs to their limit.

" _The First Order has come for me,"_ I thought.

Suddenly, shots began to fire in my direction. I chanced a look back at my attackers, finding that the troopers were hot on my tail. Desperately, I pushed myself to run faster. Unfortunately though, it seemed that there was not much more speed that I could obtain.

After almost another whole minute of running, I found myself face to face with the river that I usually got my water from. I dropped my knife to the ground.

"Shit," I cursed out loud, knowing that the water was deep. I had never been a good swimmer, but it seemed that crossing the river was my only hope. I pushed all of the fear within me aside, knowing that I had no other choice. With a final breath, I leapt into the water.

My idea had quickly proven to be flawed. The shock of the cold water suddenly surrounding me had been enough to knock the air from my lungs. The water was too blurry to see anything, and I could barely tell down from up. Using the strength I had left, I clawed my way back to the surface, gulping for air when my head finally popped up from the water.

I tried to swim. I really did. But the current was impossibly strong. What had looked like such a calm and gentle river from the surface was actually a powerful beast underneath. I kicked and kicked and moved my arms desperately, attempting to make my way to the other side. But it was too late. Someone else got to me first.

All of the sudden, I could no longer move my limbs to stay afloat. It was as if some invisible monster was holding me in place. I attempted to cry out, but even my lips seemed unable to move. I thought for sure that I was going to sink to the bottom of the river like a heavy anchor, but in actuality, I began to float backwards.

The other side of the river grew farther and farther away as I was pulled right back to the spot that I had jumped in. When I felt the muddy bank of the river against my back, a set of arms pulled me up and hoisted me to the solid ground above.

There, standing above my frozen figure, was the cloaked man from earlier.

He was surrounded by Stormtroopers on all sides, and they all had their weapons pointed straight at me. I could feel the cold and muddy water dripping off of my body and onto the forest floor, but I still could not move to dry myself. It seemed that the cloaked man was using the force to keep me in place.

The man looked down at my shaking form. I wondered what kind of hideous monster was hiding behind that mask. Whatever this being was, his power was causing my body to radiate fear. If I could move myself at all, I would probably have been cowering in terror.

He spoke with a voice that reminded me even more of Vader. His helmet seemed to change his tone to be robotic and low. "TN1815."

Was he speaking in code? I didn't understand. The man did not take his eyes off me, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw a Stormtrooper approach the man's side.

"Inform General Hux that we have found the girl. Prepare a holding cell for her."

My stomach turned into a queasy pile of mush. They were capturing me. They were taking me on board.

The Stormtrooper obeyed his leader's orders. I watched, terrified and helpless as the masked man brought his other hand up to the side of my head.

"Sleep," he told me.

And I did.

A/N: Hello. :) My name is Alexa and I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read the first chapter of my new story. Originally, this had been put up under a different name, but I decided to revise the story and basically start over completely. I'm very satisfied with the layout of this chapter. If you like the work and would like to read more, please please give a comment, send a message, or add the story to your list. It would be much appreciated. :) I plan to update quickly if people like the story, so please let me know. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Confused.

When I woke up, that was exactly how I felt: Confused. I opened my eyes to find that I was trapped inside a small metal room. There were no windows, just a large door directly in front of me. The low _hum_ that I heard told me that I was indeed in a spaceship of sorts. Captured. Defeated.

As for myself, I was strapped onto some sort of metal table. The device was angled slightly so that I was leaning back, but not horizontal enough to make me comfortable. My limbs were sore and weak, and my clothing was muddy and damp from my previous dip in the river.

 _ **The river.**_

And just like that, it all came flooding back to me. _The ship. The Stormtroopers. The man in the cloak_. It had all been real.

However, before I had any more time to panic, the doors in front of me _swooshed_ open.

My heart practically stopped in my chest as I watched the darkly dressed man from earlier walk into the room. He still wore his helmet, although the hood of his cape had found its way off of his head and onto his shoulders. He stopped just two feet away from where I had been placed and (as far as I could tell) looked straight at me.

Looking into that mask was just too intimidating. Nervously, I turned my head away from the figure and onto the floor, focusing my gaze at a scuff on the black tiles below.

"Look at me."

His voice was so chilling that I almost found myself obeying his orders. Something inside of me though, a gut feeling, told me that I needed to rebel. Taking in a shaky breath, I fixated my gaze even harder to the scuff on the floor, trying to keep this man out of my head.

But it was too late. Frustrated with my disobedience, he used the force to reposition my gaze directly onto him. The power that flowed through his fingertips and into my body hurt. This time, I could not look away.

A lock of my dirty blonde hair fell into my face. To my shock and discomfort, the Vader-like man raised the gloved hand that was not using the force on my cranium and tucked the strands behind my ear. It made my face tingle with distress. He spoke again, the force still locking my head into place. "Hello, Allevra."

I gulped, blinking away a look of embarrassment. _"He knows my name,_ " I thought.

Suddenly, the man stopped his use of the force, allowing me to rest my head slightly. He began pacing around the table that I was strapped to, driving me crazy with fright.

"I know a lot of things about you. You would probably be surprised."

I was shocked. This force-user was powerful enough to read my thoughts. How much did he know? How much could he hear? "You know nothing about me."

His low, altered voice seemed to chuckle. I wondered if he was really laughing under that helmet.

"Let's see about that, shall we?"

I froze. The man stopped in front of me.

"You used to go by 'Princess Allevra', but that was a long time ago. You were born on a small planet, _Peiamu_ , and had a fairly happy childhood. But as we both know, happiness does not last forever."

I couldn't tell what I felt more: anger, fear, or confusion. How did this person know so much about me?

He continued. "You are force-sensitive. You kept it hidden from most everyone. When your parents both perished and your palace all but collapsed, you fled to Yavin, where you've spent your time hiding from everyone. From me."

The bad feeling down in my gut rose up, threatening to choke me. I stared the dastardly man down, realization slowly making its way outward and into the world.

"Take that thing off," I demanded, angry that I could not see his face.

Once again, he laughed. "Why? So you can see what you already know lies underneath?"

I felt tears well up in my eyes. The lump in my throat was burning and choking me, and I felt so angry that I was ready to burst. "Take the damn thing off! Just take it off!"

He did not say anything. Instead, he ever-so-slowly rose a hand up to the side of his helmet, pressing a small button. The device made a small _click_. As he slid the helmet off, I watched as an all-too-familiar face was brought to light.

Ben. Ben Solo.

 **I should have known.**

A strange sound erupted from my throat; something half-way between a sob and a scream. My shoulders fell as my head hung low, hot tears making their way out of my eyes and down to my chin.

I cried for him. I cried for the Ben Solo that I had once knew so long ago, for the man in front of me at that moment could not possibly have been him.

For a second, he simply stood there, silently watching as my emotions unraveled. He looked simply like a more matured version of his younger self, and it absolutely tore me apart. The same nose. The same pale complexion. The same dark brown eyes and feathery hair. Only now, those big eyes that had once held so many dreams for the future were now tainted with darkness. On top of that, a long scar covered the side of his face, tracing all the way from the bridge of his nose to the side of his cheek.

Now that the helmet had come off, he was no longer a stoic, emotionless man. I could see the slight twinge of a frown at the edge of his lips . . . the way his brows furrowed ever so slightly. As much as he probably hated to admit it, seeing me fall apart so easily had probably brought him some distress.

I didn't know what to say. The pain inside of me was too much to bare. Every fiber in my worn body was ready to snap.

For the first time, he spoke without the aid of his helmet. His voice was low and husky, unlike the voice that I remembered from our childhood together. However, it was indeed Ben's voice.

"I'm sorry that seeing my face brings you so much pain."

I made no attempt to respond. I simply let the tears continue to flow. I must have looked so weak.

But to tell you the truth, I was.

 **A/N: Hey everyone.** **Thanks so much for the support that I've gotten on my first chapter. I hope that you liked the second! Please please comment, fave, follow, or pm me to let me know what you think so far!**


	3. Chapter 3

Neither one of us spoke for a long time. The only sound in the small cabin was the low hum of the ship's engine and the occasional whimper as I attempted to compose myself. No matter how much seeing Ben's face upset me, crying would do me no good there.

"Allevra," he called out, breaking the silence. I slowly brought my gaze back up to his dark, familiar eyes. My voice didn't feel strong enough to speak, so I simply stared in hopes that he would continue.

"Do you know why we've brought you here?" he asked.

I got a little angry hearing that. My jaw must have visibly clenched as a let out an angry laugh. "Do I know why you've brought me here? You mean why you kidnapped me, knocked me out, and have physically restrained me until I cannot leave? No, I have no clue."

He did not looked surprised at my response. Instead, he slowly reached towards me and undid the straps that attached me to the table. Weakly, I stepped off, rubbing at the small indents that had been made in my wrists.

"Better?" he asked.

I looked away, still upset, but nodded. It felt much better to be free from that damn contraption.

Ben sighed. For a moment, he stayed quiet, as if he was thinking of exactly what he wanted to say. The silence in the room suddenly became too much to bare, and I found myself desperate to end it.

"Are you going to kill me?" I asked.

He looked confused, as if I'd shocked or insulted him. "Of course not," he spoke, his voice low and strong.

I felt my body relax. I needed to hear that. "Then what?"

He turned to his helmet, which he had placed on a chair in the corner of the room. It was as if he was examining it; searching it for answers. Did he even know why I was there? Was it even his choice to bring me there in the first place?

"You've been fighting to hide your abilities for a while. Have you not?"

I didn't understand how he knew that information, but I nodded nonetheless. His words were correct.

"It must be hard, always fighting to keep that power deep down within you."

I didn't like the way he talked to me; the way he seemed to somehow know every thought that went through my head. He spoke so confidently.

"You know nothing about what I go through." I was mad now.

Once again, he let out a slight chuckle. It was strange to watch the ghost of a smile on his lips. "Don't I? Allevra, you remember what it was like when we were children. I saw you struggle to hide your abilities from the world as I struggled with the pull between the light and dark."

"Don't you dare bring up the past, Ben."

And then, a truly sinister grin appeared on his face. He closed his eyes and let out a deep laugh. When he opened them back up, his face was dark and serious.

"Ben Solo no longer exists."

There they were again, the hot tears falling instantly. I hated the way that he could make me break so easily. My voice was cracked and shaky when I argued.

"Of course he does!"

. . .

I watched, terrified as he unsheathed the lightsaber that hung at his side. With a simple press of a button, the device turned on, a bright-crimson set of three deadly blades erupting from the end. I shrunk back, nearly petrified by the power of the object. I had never seen a lightsaber before, but he held it so easily, like it was second nature.

He let out a humongous yell and slashed into the wall behind us. Sparks flew out and I couldn't help but scream, running to the opposite side of the cabin. This man couldn't be Ben Solo. He was not the boy I remembered.

This man - _this stranger-_ continued to slash at the wall, blind with anger. It took what must have been several more minutes of rage before his saber was finally turned off and back in its place on his hip. He turned around to stare at me, gasping for air.

"Do you see now?!" he yelled. "Would your precious Ben Solo do this?!"

Pathetically, I shook my head. I was still crouched down in the corner of the room, cowering and tearful.

He approached me, black boots _clanking_ on the hard floor as he did so. It was all I could do to push myself farther into the corner of the room, wanting nothing more than to seep into the walls and escape. He crouched down to my level, our faces so close that I could feel his hot and labored breaths land upon my cheek.

"Kylo Ren. That is my name. That is what you will call me. Understood?"

I felt so defeated. So worthless, as if I'd watched the old Ben die right in front of me. I bit my lip in order to stop its uncontrollable quivering, and nodded.

Be- . . . **Kylo** rose to his feet, causing me to then realize just how tall he had grown. Even his height was intimidating. He outstretched his hand, waiting for me to grab hold.

"Join me, Allevra. I can end the torment within you. I can stop the pain if you just let me teach you how to control it."

I stared at his outstretched hand for a moment, unsure of what to say. There was so much turmoil going on inside of my head; so much to process. Would Kylo kill me if I didn't take him up on his offer?

At that moment, it just didn't matter anymore. Gradually, I slid my way up the wall until I'd reached a standing position. Kylo retracted his hand.

"Is that what you want from me? To turn me into another one of you?! You would never be able to do anything but cause me pain. If you're truly not the boy I once knew, you can do nothing for me. I want nothing to do with you!" I was screaming now, pushing bravely on Kylo's chest in order to back him off.

It was like trying to push against a brick wall. He made no effort to move, nor did he attempt to stop me as I beat at his chest. The tears turned into violent sobs as I continued to hit, my punches growing weaker and weaker.

"I hate you!" I yelled, trying to use the force to push him away. It was no use, though. My powers were too weak to do so much as slightly shake his torso.

"And suddenly, Ben Solo . . . **Kylo Ren** looked sad. There was a twinge of emotion in his eyes, one that gave me a slight bit of hope. Surely, there was a bit of Ben in there somewhere.

Without warning, the door on the opposite side of the cabin opened up, revealing a redheaded man wearing a black uniform and cap. As he stepped into the room, Kylo backed away from me. As quickly as the twinge of emotion in his eyes had appeared, it was gone, along with any traces of Ben that were left in the room.

The redhead glanced at the sparks flying from the set of slashes that Kylo had put in the wall and immediately rolled his eyes. I wondered if a tantrum like that was common for Kylo. He then quickly looked at the two of us.

"Kylo," he began, reassuring me that the individual beside me was no longer referred to as Ben Solo. "I see you've not made much progress with the girl."

 **A/N: Oh my gosh! Hey everybody** **. Thank you so very much for all of the amazing responses that I've gotten for the story. You all have no idea how much it means. This chapter was surprisingly difficult to write, as I found it hard to write the scene I was imagining in my head. If you perhaps have any ideas for this story for the future, even though it's just started up, feel free to tell me about it. Again, PLEASE review, follow and all that jazz (reviews make me especially happy). I love you hear what you guys think about it! Thanks again. I can't wait to write more!**


	4. Chapter 4

As soon as the man spoke, Kylo did not look pleased. His lips pursed and his brow furrowed slightly, telling me that this man was not very much of a friend. Sure, Kylo was a scary individual to be around, but someone that he disliked must have been a different type of scary altogether.

"General Hux," Kylo spoke, taking a few steps towards the entrance. "You'll find that our guest has a name and I'm sure she'd prefer to be called it."

I raised an eyebrow. Was Kylo Ren sticking up for me?

Hux didn't look very surprised at Kylo's response. Instead, he quickly looked me up and down before turning to the still-sparking gashes in the metal paneling.

"Is this how you treat your guests, Kylo?" he asked, reaching an arm out to gesture towards the mess.

A hint of anger flashed in Kylo's eyes. For a moment, I feared that he might once again withdraw his tri-saber and wreak havoc on the walls. Instead, he simply balled his large hands into tightly-bound fists and gave the General an unamused glare.

General Hux, on the other hand, looked slightly amused.

"Well then. Since you've managed to almost destroy half of the interrogation room, and you don't look to be making much progress, I'm afraid that-"

He paused, taking a moment to flip through some papers that he held in his left hand.

"Miss Allevra will have to be moved to an overnight holding cell until she's ready to cooperate."

Suddenly, my heart began to beat rapidly and my palms began to sweat. Panic set in at the thought of being locked in some metal cage overnight. I looked to Kylo, wondering if he'd really agree with stuffing me in a holding cell.

"No."

Hux looked rather shocked. "No?"

Kylo glanced at me from out of the corner of his eye. Could he sense my distress? Was he answering my plea?

"She is our guest, not a prisoner here. Let that be made clear. Allevra will be moved to room 22104 for the night. Assign a small unit to stand guard at the door. It will remain locked."

Hux raised an eyebrow, as if intrigued or confused by something that Kylo had said. However, he seemed to have no choice but to obey the man's orders. After flipping through his papers once more, he plastered an insincere smile upon his face.

"Very well. I trust that you can escort her there yourself without trouble?"

Kylo simply nodded, his face expressionless.

"Alright then." With that, Hux exited the room.

When Kylo and I were once again the only two people present, I didn't exactly know what to say. He did not turn to look me, but seemed to be once again staring at the helmet that he'd taken off. Perhaps he felt vulnerable without it.

"Room 22104?" I asked.

His eyes met mine again, offering what looked to be a slight bit of compassion. "It is not a prisoner's cell, I can assure you. You will be comfortable there."

I was sure that he could see my body visibly relax. "Comfortable" sounded amazing right about then. In fact, anything but a cold, hard, metal table sounded amazing.

I watched with dismay as Kylo grabbed hold of his helmet and placed it back on his head. It was as if all of his humanity had disappeared within seconds, replaced by a hollow, villainous shell. When he spoke, his words were once again an ominous growl. The small bit of warmth and comfort that had developed within me was gone yet again.

"Follow me, and do not think of running. I would know before you even tried."

That threat was enough to keep me from even slightly considering an escape. Instead, I obediently followed Kylo's large, dark figure down a long hallway, making sure to stay by his side and not stray. We walked for what seemed like at least ten minutes, passing by several groups of Stormtroopers on the way. They all seemed to glance at me as we crossed paths, but didn't dare look for more than a moment.

" _Probably afraid of Kylo,"_ I thought.

The numbers on the doors that we passed by continued to climb higher and higher. 22099, 22100, 22101. I gulped, a small bit of nervousness forming as we approached our destination. 22102, 22103 . . .

22104.

There was already a group of six Stormtroopers waiting at the outside of the door. They saluted Kylo as he and I approached, stopping so that Kylo could give orders to the troopers.

"You are not to open this door for anyone unless I give you orders to do so. Understood?"

"Yes sir," they chimed in, almost robotically.

"Good." With that, the door slid open and I hesitantly followed Kylo inside.

The room was medium-sized, with a black floor and slightly-metallic walls. To the far right of the room sat a large, king-size bed and two night-tables. On the opposite side of the room was a door to the bathroom, a closet, and a door that appeared to be locked. The wall opposite the doorway seemed to be one giant window, revealing an endless array of stars on the outside.

I found myself immediately drawn to the large window. My breath caught a bit in my throat as my feet unconsciously moved to observe the view. I stared, awestruck by the view of endless space just outside of the room. It was not only dazzlingly beautiful, but something that I'd never seen before.

"Wow."

"I'm glad you like it," said Kylo, his voice human once again. I turned around to find that he had taken off his helmet, placing it momentarily on the bed.

I wasn't exactly sure what to say. Kylo had rescued me from a night spent in a prisoner's cell, but I was still so torn apart from our previous clash of heads. The stress weighing down on my body from the day's events felt so heavy that I might collapse at any second.

Noticing my lack of response, he cleared his throat and gestured to the door across from himself.

"It has been a long day for you. I'd expect that you would like to take a shower."

I slowly nodded, suddenly all too aware of how grimy I felt. My previous "dip" in the river had left my clothes muddy and on the brink of becoming mildewed. My long hair was matted and tangled, and I must have smelt less than pleasant.

"You will find everything you need in there. Take as long as you like."

On that note, I made my way into the bathroom and shut the door.

I found the place to be rather pleasant for a bathroom. Unlike all of the rooms that I had been in prior, it was not primarily black or metallic. Instead, the detailing consisted of a light brown and cream color, which relaxed both my eyes and mind. It contained all of the necessities for a bathroom: a shower, a sink, and a toilet. Surprisingly, there was even a small bathtub in the corner.

" _What kind of a person stays in this nice of a room?"_

I slowly peeled off my dirty clothing and sat them on a neat pile on the sink. After fumbling through the drawers for a moment, I was surprised to find a small comb that I could use to detangle my dirty blonde hair. After taming my wild locks, I hopped into the shower and turned the water on as hot as I could stand it, attempting to wash all of the stress of the day away.

 **A/N: You people are amazing. You know that, right? I've gotten such good feedback from this story in the past few days. It has made me happier than you could ever imagine.** **Thank you so much for your support. Again, please continue to write reviews, vote, follow, whatever the site you're viewing this story on allows. It means the world to me that everyone has been so supportive. Can't wait to write some more and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know.** **3**


	5. Chapter 5

When Kylo had told me that I could take as long as I liked, I doubt that he expected me to actually take him up on the offer. I stayed in the shower for what must have seemed like forever, letting the steam envelope me as I reflected on the day's events. It wasn't until my fingers were well-past pruned and the entire bathroom was filled with steam that I thought to get out.

To my surprise, I discovered upon exiting the shower that my old, dirty clothes were gone. Instead, a fresh pile had taken their place on the sink, folded neatly. The pile consisted of a much-larger-than-my-size black shirt, a pair of black women's underwear, and some oversized men's shorts. Too exhausted to question how the clothing had been put in the bathroom during my shower, I simply slipped on the clothing and once again combed through my hair, doing my best to dry it a bit with a towel.

As I exited the bathroom, I was surprised to find Kylo sitting on the side of the bed. I jumped for a second, scared by his sudden presence.

When he heard me enter the bedroom, he looked up. "I didn't mean to surprise you."

"Why are you still here?" I questioned.

Then, Kylo laughed. He legitimately let a small grin form on his face and let a laugh out of his mouth. "Where do you think you are, Allevra? Some sort of guest room?"

I stared at him, confused. After realizing that I didn't get the point, he let me in on the secret.

"This is where I live. You are staying in my room. **That** is why I am still here."

I felt sheepishly embarrassed and a little bit unsure. I wasn't convinced that I'd be _comfortable_ staying in a room with Kylo. Not unless I planned on constantly staying huddled in the corner of the bedroom. This man made me so wary of everything.

"Would you rather go stay in a cold, metal cell?"

I stayed quiet for a moment before shaking my head, looking down at my feet.

Kylo turned away from me, giving his attention to a small, collapsible table that had been placed at his bedside. I heard the sound of pouring liquid and smelled something sweet.

"Come here."

I looked up, watching as Kylo extended a cup of some sort of tea and offered it to me. _"I bet there's some sort of drug in there."_

"I don't want any, thank you," I explained, my feet still planted firmly in the doorway.

"I would never drug you, Allevra."

More silence ensued before I quickly made my way over to the other side of the foldable table, taking a seat. I crossed my arms, staring Kylo straight in his dark brown eyes.

"No, but you would read my mind, wouldn't you? I bet you're so used to just taking the information you want that its second nature to you. My thoughts are a private matter." I was miffed.

Kylo placed the cup of tea in front of me and began to pour himself a cup. "I don't read you like that on purpose. We are connected through the force. I hear your thoughts without even trying. It's blocking you out that takes effort."

Hesitating, I gave in to the ever-growing sensation of dehydration in my body and picked up the cup of tea. The steam that rose and tickled at my face was comforting.

"If we are connected through the force, then why can I not hear your thoughts?"

Kylo took a long sip of his tea. "You are not strong enough to do so yet. When you've had more training in the ways of the force, you will be able to hear me as I hear you."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, that will never happen."

With a bit of a sigh, he extended a long, now ungloved hand and removed the top of a silver platter placed on the table. My eyes grew wide at the large array of fruits, vegetables, and breads that now sat directly in front of me. It wasn't until I saw said food that I came to the realization that food had not reached my lips all day.

But still, I hesitated.

"You are weak and hungry. Eat."

Suddenly, I became very self-conscious. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten in front of somebody, let alone eaten in front of the man I'd once known as Ben Solo.

As if sensing my embarrassment and hesitation, he plucked a strawberry from the plate. I watched slowly as his long, pale fingers brought the fruit to his mouth. Perhaps it was to show that the food was not poisoned. Perhaps it was to show me that eating was no big deal. Either way, it was enough to send my hungry stomach over the edge.

I began with a grape, plucking the small fruit from its wiry vine and quickly popping it in my mouth. Instantly, its nourishment made me feel so much better. Feeling brave, I grasped the teacup that I'd been so fearful of earlier. Slowly and carefully, I took a sip of the steaming liquid. It was sweet and warm and perfect.

I wasn't sure if Kylo was reading my mind or not. Either way, he looked pleased when I no longer felt afraid of the food and drink he'd placed in front of me. After I had eaten in silence for a few minutes, he broke it with a surprising apology.

"I am sorry for any anguish that I caused you earlier. My actions were out of frustration, but not aimed towards you. I hope you will forgive me."

I took a long sip of the now addicting tea before replying. "Do you want me to view you as a stranger? Is that what you mean when you claim Ben Solo is gone?"

I thought for a moment that he would go on another spree of destruction. Instead, he simply poured more tea in my cup.

"We both know that you and I are not strangers. I don't expect you to forget our time spent together. However, you must be aware that I am not the boy you grew up with." He paused for a moment, as if collecting his thoughts.

I didn't like the silence. "Are you sure there's nothing weird in this?" I asked, pointing a finger at the cup in my hand.

He grinned ever so slightly at my question. "Nothing to drug you. You'll find it addictive because you are so dehydrated. It helps to calm the nerves and replenish what the day has taken from your body."

I nodded, popping another grape into my mouth. Slowly, I felt my eyelids begin to grow heavy. I was getting tired. Kylo opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.

"I'm sleepy, I need to rest, blablabla. I know."

He tilted his head, as if to hide another grin. "You may sleep whenever you wish."

Awkwardly, I glanced at the bed behind him. Was he expecting me to share it with him? As if sensing my discomfort, Kylo rose to his feet, extending a hand so he could help me up.

"I need to go do some things. I'll assume you won't try anything funny while I'm gone."

This time, it was me who grinned. Nodding, I let out a small yawn and watched as Kylo put on his helmet and strode out the room. Too tired to do any kind of snooping, I sank down onto the left side of the bed and immediately fell asleep.

 **A/N: Why helloooooooo! I received so many amazing comments on this story. I just want to thank everyone for their support thus far, and hope you continue to read! Let me know what you thought of the chapter! 3 Love you people.**


	6. Chapter 6

"Good morning."

I awoke with a violent start when I heard a voice speaking in the room. Upon opening my eyes, I glanced up to see General Hux standing by my bedside. His sudden appearance sent my heart beating a mile a minute, and I glanced around nervously to observe my surroundings.

The area of the bed beside me was untouched. The small table which Kylo and I had shared dinner upon had remained as it was the night prior. There were absolutely no signs that Kylo had ever returned to his room during the night.

And worst of all, it meant that General Hux and I were completely alone.

"Sleep well?" he asked.

I could do nothing but sit on the bed, paralyzed with sudden fear. Hux's presence made me feel so unsafe that I could sense my hands begin to shake. I simply stared at him, unable to think of a reply.

After realizing that I would make no attempt to speak, Hux looked out the window on the opposite side of the room. I followed his gaze, staring out at the endless world of stars and planets that sat just beyond Kylo's living quarters.

"You may not be able to tell from the view outside," he began, referring to the sea of darkness in front of us. "But it is morning time."

It was then that I noticed the three Stormtroopers that stood in the doorway. They waited patiently and did not move, as if expecting orders from the General at any moment.

Hux turned to let his cold, blue eyes meet my own. There was something that I sensed in him; something truly dark and rotten. This man would most likely not hesitate to hurt me.

"Wondering what I'm doing here?"

I nodded, still silent.

General Hux let a disgusting grin fall upon his face. "It seems that you did not cooperate very well with Kylo Ren yesterday evening. Therefore, today, it is my turn to do the talking."

Instinctively, I dove from the bed, desperate to escape this terrible man's presence. I managed to dash a few feet away before the Stormtroopers almost immediately had me in their hold. I kicked and screamed and did whatever I could to try and fight back, but there seemed to be no use in struggling anymore. There was no way that I could escape, and even if I somehow managed to do so, there was nowhere that I could run to.

"Where is Kylo?" I cried, almost shocked at myself for missing him.

Hux looked angry when I did so much as mention the other man's name. Sneering, he approached me quickly and stopped just inches away from my face.

"I know about you two. I know about your past and I know about who you think Kylo Ren is. But trust me, little girl, Kylo Ren will not help you. Not today."

I bit my lip to keep terror-filled tears from falling. The Stormtroopers' grips painfully tightened as they led me out of room 22104 and down the cold hallways of the ship, the annoying _click-clack_ of Hux's boots following behind our every step. After what seemed like hours and hours of being dragged through the maze-like halls of the Finalizer, I found myself once again being pushed into an interrogation room.

I fought hard and long when they tried to strap me back onto another metal table. I kicked and clawed and bit and cried until my fighting had proven fruitless. After the troopers had managed to restrain me, I had no choice but to watch, helpless, as my limbs were once again strapped down and made unusable.

"Leave!" Hux yelled. Instantly, the Stormtroopers marched out of the room. I listened with dread as the doors _swooshed_ closed.

For a moment, there was no sound but my heavy breathing and the low _hum_ of the ship's movement. Hux seemed to be waiting, observing me as I fought to catch my breath. After a minute or two of pure silence, he approached me slowly.

"I don't think you understand the offer that has been made to you."

I bit my cheek, frustrated. Hux's face was now inches from mine. I could feel the anger bubbling up inside of me, threatening to spill over. There was no scuff on the new interrogation room's floor for me to focus on, but I still stared at the black tiles below. I would not grant this man the pleasure of looking at my tear-stained face.

"I understand everything."

I could hear Hux moving around, but I didn't dare look up. Closing my eyes, I attempted to imagine myself somewhere different. But it was no use.

A sudden pain in my face pulled me back to reality. Hux had grabbed hold of my head, forcing me to look at him. Kylo's use of the force to turn my head from earlier had hurt, but Hux seemed to be **deliberately** trying to hurt me.

"You think the First Order has nothing to offer you."

"You don't!" I spat, fighting to remove my face from his grasp. "You do nothing but kill innocent people and destroy things! Look what you've done to Ben Solo!"

Hux tightened his grip on my face, causing me to cry out. "The First Order did nothing to Ben Solo. That pathetic man was merely fighting an internal war with the light. The same conflict that you struggle with now."

I fought so hard to keep the tears from falling. I wanted desperately to appear strong in front of the General; to intimidate him. However, his words slowly eroded the barricade that I had attempted to build. Slowly, I began to crumble.

"The light makes you weak!" he yelled, shaking my shoulders as the tears began to appear on my face. "The Order will make you stronger. It will give you purpose. This pain will only grow worse if you do not allow your power to properly be harnessed."

"Fuck you!" I screamed, spitting in the face of General Hux. I watched as his pale cheeks began to burn red.

 _Smack!_

I cried out in pain as Hux drew his hand back, smacking me across the face in one painful swoop. The tears began to flow stronger as the stinging in my cheek persisted.

"If you don't want to cooperate, I will make you!"

I watched in horror as the General approached the side of the table. With the pull of a lever, my restraints tightened, squeezing my wrists and ankles. I screamed as the metal pressed into my skin, bruising and cutting at my flesh. The pain was horrible.

Hux's face loomed in front of mine again, taunting.

"If you say yes, they won't get any tighter."

I squeezed my eyes shut, desperate to wake up from the horrible nightmare that I had to be experiencing. In an attempt to distract myself from the unbearable pressure of the restraints, I bit into my cheek. A small cut opened up and I began to taste blood.

There was no way that I would give this foul being the satisfaction of seeing me break.

"No."

Unpleased by my answer, Hux turned the lever even farther. An agonizing howl escaped from my throat as the pain grew worse. I wondered if the veins in my wrists were being smashed shut. I wondered how many more times the lever could turn before my bones cracked.

I wondered if there was anybody in the god damn world that could save me.

My hands and feet tingled with the sensation of a million tiny pinpricks. The blood in my mouth began to pool under my tongue. I cried, humiliated, knowing that I couldn't stand any more pain. The metal continued to dig into my limbs, and I watched, broken, as I droplet of blood began to drip down my hand.

"Please, stop," I begged.

Hux paused, taking a look at my shaking form. "Are you ready to cooperate now?"

I didn't know what to say. Everything was just too much. For a moment, I wanted to die right then and there.

Weakly, I gave in.

"Yes."

But then, the doors to the interrogation room _hissed_ open. There, in front of me, was Kylo Ren. He wore no helmet, and his breathing was deep and rushed, as if he'd been in a hurry to get there. His face was dark and full of anger – no, **hatred.**

He seemed to glance at me for only a moment, taking in my condition. His eyes then quickly darted to the only other person in the room: General Hux.

The General looked frightened. He had clearly not expected Kylo to arrive any time soon. For the first time since I'd met him, Hux was not the first person to speak. Instead, it was Kylo that broke the silence.

"I should kill you. I should kill you right here and now and not think twice about it."

His words scared even me. Hux, however, looked only moderately fazed.

"Kill me? Why would you do that? I just got you what you wanted, Kylo. The girl has agreed to commence with training."

I stared intently at Kylo's lightsaber, waiting for him to ignite the weapon. I thought for sure that he would slice into Hux with all the power he had, but to my surprise, he didn't even touch it. Nor did he use the force. Instead, Kylo Ren approached General Hux, looked him straight in the eyes, and punched him square in the face.

Hux stumbled back, shocked at Kylo's actions. Blood seeped out of his pointed nose, and it was then that I understood Kylo's actions. Using the force would leave no visible marks on Hux's body, but a punch in the face would leave a mark for all to see.

"Get out!" he screamed. Angered and frustrated, Hux walked out of the room, a hand covering his still-bleeding nose.

As soon as the man was gone, Kylo smashed his fist down upon a button on the table's side, freeing me from its grip. I fell to the floor, too weakened to stand.

Kylo rushed to my side, but I quickly pushed him away with what little strength I had left. I was practically hyperventilating, too tormented to shed tears any longer.

"Get away from me!" I screamed, my voice cracking as I shouted out. He looked surprised as I pushed him once more.

I was too upset at everything and everyone around me. Part of me wanted to crawl into this stupid man's arms and thank him for freeing me from torture, but another part of me was too upset to even look at his face. Ben Solo would not have let this happen to me. Ben would never have even brought me to this ship in the first place. But here I was, tormented and bleeding on the interrogation room floor. And **Kylo Ren** had let it happen.

I crawled away from him, the last bit of my walls crumbling down. I struggled, battered and bruised, until I had made me way to the corner of the new interrogation room. Just like before, I cowered and cried. It was all I could do to seek comfort in the sensation of a wall on my back.

"Allevra," he began, attempting to approach me once more. But it was too late. Harnessing the power of the hatred and anger that had welled up inside of me, I let out what little bit of the force I could. The power that erupted from my hand was enough to push Kylo a few feet back.

"Leave!" I screamed.

And he did.

 **A/N: OH MY GOSH, YOU GUYS! I'm sorry for the late update, but I just moved back in for my second semester of college. In order to reward you for the amazing feedback that I've been receiving and the lateness of this post, I made the chapter much longer than I usually do! There's a lot of drama and crazy things happening in this chap, so please comment/message and let me know what you thought! Thanks so much, I look forward to updating again!**


	7. Chapter 7

I sat there in the interrogation room, alone and scared, for what must have been hours and hours. My body was sore and in pain, my stomach begged for food, and my lips were desperate for water. Despite all of those things, I couldn't muster up the courage or the strength for an attempt at leaving.

For a while, I simply thought long and hard about the morning's events. I was so horribly embarrassed at everything that had happened, and so ashamed of myself for being broken so easily. The bruises that had formed on my wrists and ankles were a sad reminder of how little it had taken to make me give in. All of those years spent in hiding, all of the pain I'd gone through attempting to push the force down, and it had all seemingly been for nothing.

The sound of footsteps approaching had caused me to bolt up, my body protesting at the sudden movement. Within seconds, a small group of Stormtroopers had appeared in the doorway, slowly peaking in to see what awaited them.

I wasn't sure whether to feel scared, angry, or to just be apathetic.

The four troopers slowly made their way inside the cabin and approached me. I shrunk back into the corner slightly, remembering what Hux's group of troopers had done to me earlier.

"Miss," began the trooper in front. "We have been requested to escort you to room 22104."

I felt like running away. Had Kylo sent a group of Stormtroopers to take me right back to the room that I'd been previously dragged out of against my will? There was no way that I was going back there.

I gazed down. "Did Kylo Ren give you those orders?"

"Miss, if you'd please just come with us-"

"Do you think he'd kill you if I didn't go?"

 _Silence_.

At that time, there were so many thoughts buzzing around in my head. The anger and hurt from earlier had left me with no energy left to protest. Deciding that I didn't want the lives of any young men resting on my shoulders, I agreed to go.

I was afraid that Kylo would be waiting for me upon my return. Instead, when the soldiers dropped me off at room 22104, I found myself hauntingly alone. There was a new platter of food in the corner of the room, but I didn't dare touch it. Instead, I headed straight for the bathroom and began to run hot water in the bathtub.

I locked myself in the bathroom and vowed not to come out for as long as I could. Instead, I sat patiently by the side of the tub, staring into the water as it slowly filled. For a moment, my reflection stared solemnly back at me, but a quick brush at the surface caused the image to slither away.

After the tub had been filled up, I stripped away my clothing and slowly immersed myself in the hot water. At first, the temperature was unbearably hot. However, after I had managed to sit still for a few minutes, the water began to feel rather nice. I slowly relaxed, sinking in as far as I could and resting my head on the tub's side.

As I sat there, allowing the sensation of the hot water to distract me, I found my mind wandering to my childhood memories.

Kylo Ren . . . _Ben Solo_ had not been a bad person when we were children. Although I had only known him when we were both very small, he had never been anything but kind and accepting towards me.

I remembered the last few weeks before he had been sent away for Jedi training. I remembered how reluctant he had been to go; how unsure of himself he was. It was then, during the small window of time before his parents had shipped him away to train with his uncle, that Ben had suffered the most.

At one point, he had asked me to join him. If he was going to go through with Jedi training, he was going to need a friend. But I was too selfish and stupid to be trained in the ways of the force. Its presence within me was only barely there, and I hid it from everyone around me. I was unwilling to relinquish my secret to help a good friend, so Ben had made the journey alone.

A journey that would prove detrimental for most everyone involved.

With a huff, I quickly sank below the tub's surface, engulfing myself in the hot water. I squinted my eyes shut and allowed myself to float gently for a little while. The sensory deprivation that was provided through this maneuver was strangely calming. For a moment, I debated whether or not I ever wanted to come back up.

After my lungs began to beg for oxygen, I reluctantly sat up, gasping for air when my head had been freed. The water _sloshed_ around me as I wiped my eyes with a towel.

Suddenly, a small knock came from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Allevra?"

It was Kylo.

I wanted to slowly sink back into the water and pretend that I wasn't there. I wanted to melt into the bathtub, pull the plug, and slide down the drain like bathwater. However, none of those things were a viable option. Unwilling to respond, I simply sat still and stayed silent.

"I would like to talk to you."

I didn't know how too reply. Instead, I laid my head back on the side of the tub, letting out a small sigh.

"Just let me bathe in piece."

My voice sounded broken. I sounded weak and tired. Truthfully, I was.

I half-expected Kylo to kick down the bathroom door. Instead, his heavy footsteps seemed to walk away. I was admittedly surprised that he had given up so easily, but there was no part of me that wanted to investigate why. Instead, I continued to soak in the bath for another hour or so.

After I'd unplugged the bath's stopper and slowly made my way out of the tub, I encased myself in a warm, fluffy towel. Its embrace was comforting and relaxing. With no new clothes to speak of, I simply re-wore the ones from earlier. After mustering up what courage I had left for the day, I slowly unlocked the bathroom door and made my way into the bedroom.

There he was, waiting for me. His helmet was off, placed on a table by his bedside. He was reading a small book when I'd walked in, but upon hearing me enter, he had thrown it aside like garbage.

"How badly hurt are you?"

His words had caused me to briefly look myself over. I was still sore and heavily bruised, but the few cuts that I had received had managed to scab over. There were large, red and purple whelps where the metal restraints had pushed into my wrists and ankles, and my cheek felt raw from the previous self-inflicted injury.

"Fine," was all that I muttered, turning to glance out the window. I had virtually no idea what time it was, for the view looked the same regardless of the hour.

"Allevra," he started, standing up.

"Don't."

He looked confused at my statement. With every step that he took towards me, I backed further and further away. When my back was up against the glass of the window and he began closing the space between us, I began to yell.

"Stop! Just stop it!" I yelled. He stopped about four feet away.

"Is this what you wanted?" I asked, holding my wrists up to show the bruises. "Is this what your idea of helping me is?"

For a moment, Kylo actually looked hurt at my statement. "Allevra, I had nothing to do with Hux's-"

"You had everything to do with it!" I screamed, banging my fist on the glass window behind me. "The whole reason that I'm here is because of you! You brought me here, Ben!"

His stoic brown eyes began to melt into a look of sadness. "I told you once already, Allevra-"

"I'm not Ben!" I shouted, angrily mocking his words from before. I stomped over to the tray of food that had been placed in the room's corner, grabbing a glass of water that I wanted desperately to chug. Instead, I threw the glass in Kylo's direction. "I'm Kylo Ren!" I screamed.

Ben . . . Kylo . . . whoever the hell it was that was in the room with me quickly stopped the glass in mid-air. Tears streamed down my face as the anger continued to boil inside of me.

"I'm not Ben!" I screamed again, flinging a teapot in his direction. Once again, Kylo reached out and stopped the object before it made contact. I was angrier than I had perhaps ever been in my entire life.

This time, I used the force. Reaching out with my hands, I attempted to fling the entire table at him. Instead, the object merely flew a few feet, scattering the table's contents all over the floor. Weakened and upset, I let out one last scream, falling to my knees.

Immediately, Kylo was at my side. I began to hit him, throwing wild punches in his direction. Instantly, his large, strong hands had reached out and grabbed my own, preventing me from fighting any longer.

"I waited for you," I cried, referring to my time spent in the interrogation room. My vision was blurry from exhaustion, and the tears only made it worse. My muscles felt weak and stressed, and the energy that it had taken to use the force had all but drained me. I felt as if I couldn't keep my body up.

"I waited for you, and you didn't come," my head was on his shoulder, trailing hot tears down his collarbone. I shook.

Slowly, he removed his grip from my shaking hands. I felt an arm wrap around my waist, another cupping the back of my head.

"I'm sorry."

I reached up to punch at his chest, but my hand couldn't even form into a fist. I was so tired, so dehydrated.

"You would have killed me a long time ago if I weren't of any use to you."

I felt his muscles clench at the comment.

"You just kill now. That's all you do."

"Be quiet, Allevra." He sounded angry now. But I was too stupid to keep my mouth shut.

With all of the strength I had, I pulled myself away from him, looking up into his eyes.

"The First Order has turned you into a monster, Ben."

I watched as his fingers slowly brushed at the hilt of his lightsaber. A small hint of anger flashed in his eyes, and I waited for him to make the fateful move. I felt so lightheaded.

"Go ahead. Prove me right," I told him, my vision growing too blurry to see his face any longer.

And just like that, I was _gone_.

 **A/N: Thanks so much for all of the support, you guys! I'm really sorry about the late update, but syllabus week has been a bit stressful. Luckily for you guys, I got completely snowed in this weekend and decided to update! Please, if you can, leave a comment/review and let me know what you think! 3 Much love,**

 **Alexa**


	8. Chapter 8

" _Are you okay, Allevra?"_

 _I looked up into a set of large, dark-brown eyes. Ben Solo, at only nine years of age, was looking down at me. I was sitting on the ground after taking a nasty tumble, resulting in a bad scrape to my left knee._

" _Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, taking a look at the injury. The skin on my knee was bruised and slightly bloody, with a few bits of dirt and grass stuck to the wound. Curious, I gave the scrape a small poke before drawing my hand back from the sharp sting._

" _I don't think you'd make a very good Jedi. You can't dodge very good," said the young boy, still holding his "lightsaber" in hand. We had been pretending to fight, using small sticks as our sabers. As Ben had said, however, I wasn't very good._

" _That's fine. I don't want to be a Jedi," I remarked, taking the boy's hand and slowly making my way back into a standing position. At only seven-and-a-half years old, I was a few inches shorter that Han and Leia's son._

 _He looked slightly disappointed. "Why not?"_

 _I sighed an overdramatic sigh, as any typical seven-year-old would. "Nobody's supposed to know about my force, remember? Mommy and Daddy say it's not even big enough for me to use it."_

" _Big enough?" he asked, raising an eyebrow._

 _I turned to pick my stick-saber back up. "Big enough. You know. You've got lots and lots of force. I only have a little."_

 _Ben let out a genuine laugh, one that made me smile. "I don't think you measure the force in big and little. Uncle Luke says that when you're force-sensitive, you have the same potential as the strongest Jedi that have ever been. You just have to learn how to harness it."_

 _This time it was my turn to laugh. "Yeah, but even if I could have a lot of force one day, I wouldn't use it. I don't want to be a Jedi. Unlike some people!"_

 _Ben's small eyebrows furrowed. "I don't_ _ **want**_ _to be a Jedi. Mom and Dad are making me."_

 _At this thought, Ben angrily chucked his stick a few feet away. I watched, almost jealously, as he used the force to bring it right back into his grasp. It amazed me, the way that he could use the force so easily._

" _When do you have to leave to train?" I asked, barely old enough to understand._

 _He shook his head. "I don't know, but I heard Mom crying about it the other day, saying that she 'doesn't think I'm ready'. I guess that means soon."_

 _I looked down at my bare feet, saddened. There was no idea I hated more at the time than my best friend being sent away for Jedi training. Nervously, I picked the dirt out of my scraped knee._

 _Deciding to change the subject, Ben glanced upward. "Peiamu sure does have a weird sky."_

 _I laughed. When we were children, Ben and his parents had often made week-long visits to my home planet. Our parents were great friends, and I'm sure that they quite liked being able to stay in the palace for weeks at a time. However, Peiamu's outrageously lush plants and deeply-pink skies had often left Ben at a loss for words._

" _It's only weird to you because you're not used to it. I've never seen anything different."_

 _Just then, a loud bell began to ring all the way out into the edge of the forest, where we were playing. It rang again and again and again, growing louder each time._

" _Allevra, we've got to go. It's dinner time."_

 _I sighed, still focused on the scrape covering my knee. I wanted to spend hours and hours out there, playing and fighting and talking with Ben. "Can't we stay out here a little longer?"_

 _I felt Ben begin to tug on my arm. "Allevra, come on."_

 _Suddenly, his voice began to sound a little strange. I looked at him with confusion, half-expecting him to clear his throat. Instead, he simply continued to pull on my arm. "Allevra, come on!"_

 _His voice began to grow lower and lower, and I began to feel fear. Suddenly, I didn't feel safe going anywhere. I dug my feet into the muddy ground, attempting to resist Ben's pull._

" _Allevra!" he cried again. I shrank my eyes shut and shook my head._

" _No," I cried. Something was wrong. Everything was blurry and both Ben and I began to sound strange. "No."_

" _Allevra!"_

" _No!"_

 _Allevra!_

I fluttered my eyes open, a bead of sweat running down the side of my forehead. In front of me was what seemed to be a large glass of water tilted towards my mouth.

"Allevra."

It was Ben's voice. I looked around to discover that I was laying on a bed. There was a cold rag draped across my forehead, and Ben Solo, Kylo Ren, whatever the hell you wanted to call him, was at my side. I met his gaze with a confused and scared look.

"Allevra, please drink. Don't ask me anything, don't get angry, just drink."

For the first time, I did not fight. Instead, I gave a weak nod before pressing my lips to the tipped glass in front of me, allowing Ben's free hand to push me into a slightly better angle. When my parched, cracked lips met the taste of water, it was all I could do not to drown myself in the stuff. A thousand cups would not be enough. It was as if I had forgotten how good water tasted.

After taking a few large gulps, Ben drew the cup away. I let out a small groan in protest and reached out for the cup, but he raised it far away from my reach.

"Slower. You'll throw up if you drink it too fast."

After waiting obediently, he once again brought the cup to my mouth, allowing me to quickly finish off what was inside.

"I will be right back. Please sit still," he said, walking away to retrieve more water. I took the opportunity to slowly sit up, feeling my head spin as I did so.

Taking a look around, I noticed that the room was an absolute mess; there was food and broken objects strewn about everywhere, and the tray that I had knocked over still laid on its side. The only different being that this time, it laid in jagged, burnt pieces on the bedroom floor; an action that I was sure I hadn't committed myself.

When Kylo returned with another glass of water, he slowly allowed me to hold it on my own. I drank it slightly slower this time, relishing the feeling as the cool liquid slid down my desert-dry throat. I could feel it pool and slosh around in my empty stomach.

Eventually, I was forced to come up for air. I licked my lips and turned to make eye contact with Kylo, whom seemed to be watching me intensely. I took a moment to settle my racing thoughts before deciding on something to say to him.

"Used the lightsaber, huh?" I asked.

He frowned. I watched as, for a split second, his eyes flicked to the table on the opposite side of the room.

"Not on you, no."

 **A/N: Oh my gosh, everybody! So, so sorry for the week long wait for an update! Starting my second semester of college caused a delay in the writing, but Saturday has given me plenty of time and inspiration to put out this baby. I know that it's a bit shorter than other chapters, but I really wanted to have a small glance at Ben and Allevra's past for everybody. Please let me know what you think in the comments and one again, thanks for all of your support! Expect a new chapter fairly soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

We sat like that for a long, long time. I would take long sips from the glass of cold water, and Kylo would occasionally take it away in order to prevent me from getting sick. We made little to no conversation, nor did much eye contact ensue. It wasn't until the glass was once again empty that I decided it was time to speak.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice."

Kylo looked up, his eyes filled with unhappy confusion. "A choice of what?"

I sighed, too emotionally defeated to even explain what was going on in my own head.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice as to whether or not I'll stay here and train with you, will I?"

For a moment, he was very silent. His mask was off, and his dark eyes were staring out into literal space, as if searching the galaxy for answers.

"I cannot ensure your safety if you do not cooperate. I'm sorry."

. . .

I said nothing for a minute, thinking back to the torture that I had been through earlier. Perhaps there was a small part of Kylo that still cared for me, but he was definitely the only person on the ship who would be bothered by the idea of whether I lived or died.

At that moment, it didn't matter to me whether or not the person sitting by my side was Ben Solo or Kylo Ren. All that I knew was that if I followed his orders for a long enough time, it could lead to a way out.

' _If you agree to train with this man, the gaining of his trust may lead to your freedom. Loyalty is your only chance at leaving the Finalizer and escaping the hold of the First Order_.'

For a split second, I feared that Kylo may have heard my thoughts. However, a quick once-over of his face revealed that he was still seemingly occupied with an observation of the world outside.

I took a quick gulp, knowing that I was about to make one of the riskiest decisions of my life.

"Kylo?"

My use of his preferred name captured his attention. Instantly, his eyes were upon me.

"Yes, Allevra?"

"If I train with you, will you promise to free me of the suffering that so many force-sensitive individuals experience?"

There was a small glint in his eye that _almost_ gave off a look of joy. There was no doubt that my sudden possible willingness to join him was a relief.

Suddenly, he outstretched his large, glove-covered hands and took hold of mine. I felt my limbs began to nervously shake at the sensation of his grasp. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cower in fear, or relish the feeling.

"Allevra, if you train with me, you will never again suffer from the pull of the light. I will make you as powerful as you were destined to be."

I hated myself. I hated what I was doing, but this was what had to be done in order to ensure that I made it out alive. Between the First Order and the Resistance, the Resistance seemed like the better place to be. However, the luxury of that decision was something that I no longer possessed. Oh, how stupid I had been to hide on Yavin for all those years. Surely, the Resistance would not have wanted to make a murder machine out of me.

"I . . . I will join you."

This time, no tears flowed. I was done with the crying for that day.

"I can tell that you are unhappy," Kylo remarked.

I pursed my lips. "Like I said, I don't have much of a choice."

 **Kylo Ren's POV**

I was no fool.

I was not happy with forcing Allevra to join the First Order. While her newly-found presence had erupted a set of emotions in me that I had not felt in a long time, I knew the struggles that came with joining the dark side. Yet here I was, making empty promises about ending a fight inside of Allevra that I had yet to end in my own soul.

I knew that she was reluctant to join the Order; her thoughts seeped into my head like a message over an intercom. She was scared and unsure and her loyalty would be questionable. Really, I would have preferred to dump her back on Yavin and pretend she didn't exist for another decade. Her presence on the ship was driving me crazy . . . But the decision to let her go, just like the decision to bring her onto the Finalizer in the first place, was not mine to make.

But her promise to join me had sealed the deal.

Immediately after her promise was made, I could feel a presence in the back of my head. It called for me, it **pulled me away**. There was no sense in fighting it.

After putting on my helmet and calling upon a group of Stormtroopers to guard the room, I made my way through the Finalizer's labyrinth of hallways. The presence only became stronger as I approached a large door at the end of a dimly-lit corridor.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed open the doors to find myself inside of a large, dark room. There were red, dim lights strewn across the floor in random places. The room was vast and expansive, and in the middle sat a hologram of a man that seemed to be fifty-feet tall. He was old and pale and terrifying.

Snoke.

My leader looked down upon me, as if waiting for me to speak. I tried not to feel weak under his scrutinizing gaze.

"The girl has agreed to commence with training."

Snoke let out a rotten, toothy grin. "Excellent."

 **A/N: Hey everybody! So sorry that I haven't updated in so long. School has been tough. Luckily though, today was a snow day and it provided me with a great amount of time to do some writing. Please tell me what you think and comment some love! Can't wait to update again. Thanks so much for your support, as usual!**

 **-Alexa**


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Guess whose back.

 **Allevra's POV**

After Kylo left, I took the opportunity to bathe. He was not gone for long; maybe an hour, tops. Upon his return, however, it seemed that it was my turn to leave.

"The troopers will escort you to your new room," he stated, Stormtroopers by his side.

"A room or a cell?" I asked, running a few fingers through my damp hair. My voice cracked, making my statement sound more fearful than intended. All of my yelling from earlier must have really taken a toll on my vocal chords.

He stood straight up and remained expressionless, as I'd learned was his custom when troopers were present. Even if there was a hint of emotion behind that mask, I couldn't sense it in his voice.

"You have agreed to commence with training, therefore you are now an honored guest here. I have ordered a room to be prepared for you; you will find it very similar to my own."

I raised a brow slightly. Something told me that most people on the Finalizer would not be viewing me as an "honored guest". Nevertheless, I nodded.

Kylo stepped out of the way, as if to make room for me to step out. I glanced around the room for a moment, only to remember that I had no belongings there. With one last look at Kylo, I exited his bedroom. The door closed behind me with a _swoosh_.

The Stormtroopers were silent as we made our way to my room. I found that it was not distant from Kylo's own: room 22088 to be exact. A part of me wondered why he hadn't escorted me there himself.

Upon arrival, I was informed that I would not be permitted to leave the cabin unless authorized by a higher authority. Breakfast and dinner would be delivered at strict times during the day unless otherwise specified by an authority, and the door would be guarded at all times.

I began to wonder exactly _how many_ people had authority on that crazy ship.

After the troopers had sealed the door and left me to remain alone, I took the opportunity to explore. Kylo was right, the room was shockingly similar to his own: a large bed, a pleasant bathroom, a garagantuin view of outer space on the far wall, and a closet. The only thing different seemed to be that Kylo's cabin had an extra door inside; one that had remained locked during my stay. I wondered what the extra room was for, and why it seemed so important that it stayed locked.

The closet in the corner contained several darkly-colored pieces of clothing. There wasn't much; a few jackets, some shirts, and some pants. There were a few other options hidden in the dresser beside the bed, but not much else. It didn't come as a shock to me that the Resistance was not a colorful place.

Letting out a deep breath, I licked my lips. Even after drinking what seemed like at least a gallon of water earlier, I was still parched. On top of that, hunger was beginning to make my stomach growl.

The clock on my bedside table read 11:41.

"I'm guessing there won't be any dinner tonight," I said aloud, sighing. I sauntered over to the bathroom sink and turned on the faucet. Cupping my hand underneath the stream, I gathered a sip of water and brought it to my lips.

"If you're hungry, I can have something brought to your room."

I choked on my water. Kylo Ren's voice had appeared out of nowhere. Coughing the liquid out of my lungs, I searched around for the body that was normally attached to the voice.

Kylo was nowhere.

"Heh . . . Hello?" I asked out loud.

"I'm speaking to you telepathically, Allevra. Don't be so alarmed."

I was **more than** alarmed.

"Are you kidding? How can you hear me speak?"

I heard a sigh. I swear, I **heard** Kylo Ren sigh in frustration telepathically!

"Allevra, you think about the words that you speak, do you not?"

I didn't know where to look. Talking to someone who wasn't there was weirding me out.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Another sigh. "Allevra, every time you say something, you think the words inside your head. I already gave you the speech about our force connection. I heard you mention that you were hungry via our connection, and chose to reply."

"But since when can you put words in my head?!" There was both anger and confusion in my voice. I knew that Kylo could **read my thoughts** , but speaking to me through my head was something entirely different. I wasn't sure if even the most powerful of Jedi that I'd heard of were capable of doing that.

"I can only speak this way to those with a presence of the force. You should feel so lucky. Now, would you like something to eat or not?"

Boy, was he moody.

"I could eat." It was all that I could think to say. I found myself worried about thinking or doing **anything**. How much more of a spy cold Kylo be?

"Very well. Something will be delivered shortly. Also, expect to be up bright and early for the beginning of your training tomorrow."

"Yeah, whatever," I sighed, glancing out at the far-off stars."

"Oh, and Allevra?"

I must have been red in the face from being so annoyed.

"What is it?"

". . . Try not to sling your food around this time."


	11. Chapter 11

Sleep did not come easily in my new bed. Although my new room was almost identical to that of Kylo's, I found myself unable to relax and grow comfortable.

After a pair of troopers delivered a late supper to my cabin, Kylo ceased his telepathic conversations with me. It was then that the uneasiness began to fill my mind. Over the last forty-eight hours prior, I had been kidnapped, threatened, tortured, and restrained in a holding cell on more than one occasion. However, it wasn't until Kylo had sent me away to room 22088 that I had ever truly felt alone on the Finalizer.

I laid awake for hours, unsure of what the morning would bring. I was in no way eager to begin my "training" with Kylo, no matter what it entailed.

When sleep finally took over, I was plagued with night terrors. Visions of a young Ben Solo, my home planet of Peiamu, and my less-than-pleasant past continually made an appearance in my dreams. What little slumber I got was ruined by a continuous cycle of nightmares.

After waking up for the fifth time, I decided that it was no longer worth the effort to try to go back to sleep. Being the early morning, there wasn't that much more sleep to get.

Instead, I turned onto my side and stared out the enormous window to my right. I watched the distant stars faintly twinkle, as if acknowledging my attention. Although I could still hear the constant _hum_ that the engine of the ship made, I figured that we must have been merely drifting through space.

I wondered, for a moment, if the Finalizer had any place to go.

Staring at the window seemed to put me in a trance - one that I immediately snapped out of when a knock sounded at the door.

Cautiously, I slipped my feet over the edge of the bed; prepared to run if need be.

"Come in."

In marched yet another pair of Stormtroopers. I was beginning to get sick of those white and black suits. The two nodded at me before speaking.

"We have your breakfast. Master Ren has requested that we tell you to be ready for your training in less than one hour."

My eyes must have looked like dinner plates. An hour? It couldn't have been but 5:30 a.m.

I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. It read 5:03.

"Is he crazy?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

I expected a laugh. A chuckle, maybe. Instead, the troopers were silent.

I took it as a yes.

When the two troopers left, I took a look at the food they had delivered. Although my stomach was rumbling at the site of breakfast, I suddenly felt unbearably queasy. Stomach acid crawled its way up my esophagus, choking me from the inside. My anxiety about the day's upcoming events were making me sick.

I had spent so long hiding from the First Order's grasp. It had always been in the back of my mind: the possibility that they would want to train me in the **dark** side of the force. And yet there I was, about to begin said training.

There was simply no way that I could eat.

Instead, I focused my attention on looking for a change of clothing. Although Kylo had never specified exactly what type of training we would be doing, I figured my best bet was to go with athletic clothing.

After digging around in the closet, I found a shirt and pair of pants that I deemed appropriate for exercise. I had apparently been provided with three different shoes, although each of them seemed to be different sizes. I found that the second pair I had tried on – a set of plain, black boots – fit the best.

After picking out my wardrobe, I was left with a new problem – waiting. My room had the basic necessities, but nothing to entertain myself. And worse, nothing to **distract** myself from my unsettled nerves. I would have killed for a book to read, or even a piece of paper to scribble on. But there seemed to be nothing worth fiddling with in the entire cabin.

I decided to make the bed as a way to pass time. Lazily, I straightened out the sheets and tucked the edges around the mattress. After smoothing out the wrinkles, I then moved on to the rather fluffy comforter, straightening it out on the large bed.

My heart nearly skipped a beat when another knock sounded at the door. When it quickly opened, I expected Kylo to march in. Instead, it was yet _another_ set of Stormtroopers.

"Yes?" I huffed, patting a dent out of one of the pillows.

The trooper on the left cleared his throat. "We've been sent to escort you into Combat Room A."

Combat Room? I was taken back a bit at that. However, something else had taken my interest.

"Your voice sounds familiar," I remarked, looking at the soldier. I squinted my eyes a bit, thinking. "Are you both the same troopers that came in here an hour ago?"

They were both silent.

I sighed. "Okay, let's get this over with."

Something felt different about being escorted through the ship without Kylo (or without being dragged around by General Hux and his minions, for that matter). Large groups of Stormtroopers marched down the hallway, some fully suited and some without helmets. It was the ones without helmets that really caught my attention, for they were really the only people besides Kylo and Hux whose faces I had seen. It humanized the Stormtroopers a bit more to know that there really were living, breathing humans behind those helmets.

That being said, even the troopers without helmets stared straight ahead. Not a single one directed their gaze at me. When previously walking with Kylo, I could feel stares on my back every time we passed by a group.

As my two escorts and I made our way down another hallway, a large group of Stormtroopers came into view. They marched in a polished formation, and were led by an individual wearing a silver-colored uniform.

Something about the group's leader put a bad feeling in my stomach. Nervously I looked away, hoping that the three of us could continue down the hallway without much trouble. The cramp in my gut only grew tighter as the figure halted their group of Stormtroopers. I watched out of the corner of my eye as all members of the troop stopped on a dime.

I said a quick prayer as we approached the group, intent on passing them from the left. However, the prayer proved fruitless as the silver-colored soldier outstretched their arm, signaling for the Stormtroopers on either side of me to halt. Instantly, they stopped. Suddenly, being in "Combat Room A" sounded much more appealing.

I gulped.

"GR – 2199, GR-2198," the individual spoke. It was definitely the voice of a female.

The troopers beside me both saluted the woman before us. "Captain Phasma," they greeted in unison.

A captain? Oh, great.

The entire hallway was silent for a moment. The Phasma woman slowly walked up to me, not stopping until there was only two feet of distance between us. I watched as she looked me up and down, as if searching for clues to my identity.

The woman was intimidating, standing at least six feet tall. Upon further inspection, her suit seemed to be a Stormtrooper uniform created out of some sort of recycled metal. She wore a black and red cape, displaying the colors of the First Order.

"Allevra, isn't it?" She asked, cocking her head.

I struggled to formulate a sentence.

"Yes," I managed to reply.

She looked around for a moment, seemingly in deep thought.

"I've been told you have an affinity with the force. Is this true?"

I didn't know how to answer. Was this something I could just tell people willy-nilly? Did I even know?

"Um-"

"Not sure, huh?" I could hear the scrutiny in her voice; the smirk on her lips. "I thought it was more of a 'yes or no' question."

I pursed my lips. It had been a long, _long_ time since I'd had such an awkward introduction. The Captain's personality told me that she was a very blunt person; a blunt answer would have to do.

"Yes," I began, my voice almost too loud. "I am force sensitive."

The hallway was dead silent again.

"Well, that's good," she laughed. "I would've hoped so, what with all the work that was put into finding you."

My grimace only grew worse. "How long did you look?"

Again came a sly laugh. "Hard to say. Master Ren was very set on locating you. After all, there aren't a lot of force-users left. You're aware of that, I'm sure. You should consider it a blessing. Kylo Ren is perhaps the most powerful force-user in the entire Universe."

I wanted the throw up. I really, really wanted to throw up. Most of all, I wanted it to land all over Captain Phasma's glistening shoes. Ben Solo had grown up to be "perhaps the most powerful force-user in the entire Universe," and there I was, about to step into a combat room with him.

"So I've heard."

A/N: Sup guys! Sorry that the updates have been so bad. Not only has my family started a new business, but my laptop went ka-poot and had to be fixed. However, I'm back! Thanks so much for your continued support. And please, leave reviews/comments and PM me if you have ideas, comments, or just really liked the chapter! Promise to update much sooner next time. XOXO –Alexa M.


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